Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 March 13

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eXtreme Radio Service[edit]

I made this article after noticing that it (under Exrs) had been deleted multiple times for blatant advertising, though I was not involved in any of the previous versions. I believe I stayed objective and cited enough sources, but I would appreciate some feedback concerning the tone and quality. Thanks,

Krashlandon ^(talk) 04:41, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Glazed Terracotta/Dr. Robert M. Goldwyn Deceased Plastic Surgeon, Author, Editor-in-Chief of #1 Plastic Surgery Medical Journal, Activist[edit]

Glazed Terracotta (talk) 09:13, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Times Silk Screen Trading[edit]

I have created a page about an organization named times silk screen trading. I would like to request you to please check the page and help it go live. I confirm that the article is fully notable and there is no conflict of interests. The website for the company is currently under development and I will post that as a reference as soon as its ready. Thank you. Look forward to hearing from you. Regards, Chirag Bhutra

Cbhutra (talk) 12:36, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The most obvious problem I see on your article is the lack of links (wikify) and the lack of inline citations. Besides that, there is some copy-editing that needs to be done (ie, you don't have to use the name of the company in every sentence), and point of view issues with sentences such as "When we develop our products" where it seems as though you are writing from the perspective of the company itself. The tone should always remain formal, impersonal, and dispassionate. Please read WP:BETTER for help on what people are looking for in an encyclopedic article. Krashlandon ^(talk) 18:27, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Submission was declined due to copyvio from [1]. Krashlandon ^(talk) 23:14, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ghostface (Scream) - User:Darkwarriorblake[edit]

Requesting feedback on this article. Not really sure where to take it at the moment as sources are rare but I've taken it from here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Ghostface_(Scream)&diff=416490457&oldid=416490259

To here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghostface_(Scream)

Basically rewritten everything, rewrote and formatted the infobox and added lots of information about the technical side instead of the primarily in-universe stuff. The list of people killed isn't mine, just couldn't be bothered getting into an edit war at the time. Your input is appreciated Darkwarriorblake (talk) 12:37, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Darkwarriorblake (talk) 12:37, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

It looks quite good, actually. Nice job! Krashlandon ^(talk) 18:39, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much :D Darkwarriorblake (talk) 20:07, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Springwater_Center[edit]

Please provide feedback on this article. Many thanks,

Rondeauw (talk) 15:52, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Baxtertrees/J. Jill Robinson[edit]

Could you please have a look and see if I've done this right? Thank-you!

Baxtertrees (talk) 15:58, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:RachelRuth/new_article_name_here[edit]

Hello, I have added links for verification of the statements made within the intended Wikipedia entry. Please review them and let me if there is anything more I need to do or correct.

I was thinking of separating Notes from References, but I don't know how to create a Notes or Bibliography section.

Thank you.

RachelRuth (talk) 19:38, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

User:Ironimp/carstone[edit]

Ironimp (talk) 20:07, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I added some wikilinks. Other than that, I think it looks good. You might consider adding some more sources, and make sure you haven't copied and pasted from the sources you have. I can't check the ones you cited at the moment. Also, make sure you remove the example link before you move it to article space. Krashlandon ^(talk) 23:46, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The_Liberation_of_Theology I have responded to the 'cleanup' suggestions, should I remove the tags?[edit]

I added citations to the book that the article is about and one from another book. I changed the tone of the article to be more scholarly. I provided some context for the significance of the book.

173.85.21.121 (talk) 20:26, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Bani Hamida.[edit]

I had to start this because they got such a bad press over what happened to the Misha Stele. But my only sources are missionaries from the last twenty years of the 19th century. Padres Hana (talk) 21:21, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]