Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 February 1

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User:Highlanderdownunder/Nomads_Golf_Club

This article has been completely rewritten and reduced by 60% to make it less verbose and more encyclopedic. Furthermore many references have been added to establish notability.

Highlanderdownunder (talk) 03:00, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

I think the article is still really a bit too long despite your efforts. Chevymontecarlo 15:40, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

I've cut down the article even further by removing all the club links and affiliated charites and instead added references for the charitable work in the reference section.

User:Metzfolife/Chris Webby

A biography about a rapper named Chris Webby, he is relatively big. Works with big artists but doesn't have a wikipedia page.

Metzfolife (talk) 05:27, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Consider using inline citations to display your references. Also, according to the referencing guidelines at WP:CITE sites like Facebook cannot be used as sources as they're not considered to be reliable enough or suitable. Also the article could do with links to other Wikipedia articles if you can, as it's a bit lacking. Mostly though I think it's the sources you need to work on; sources are the most important things about an article. Chevymontecarlo 15:46, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Metzfolife/Chris Webby

Metzfolife (talk) 05:28, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Replied above. Chevymontecarlo 15:47, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Samwidlund/The Guide (software)

Is this notable enough and not an advertisment?

Samwidlund (talk) 08:41, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

I don't see any neutrality problems with your article but I don't think it could be considered notable enough at the moment with the references you currently have. You have a few reliable sources but overall I think it needs some work. However other than that I think the article's nicely written. Chevymontecarlo 15:48, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Marie_flwr/Technology_500

Hello. I've just built a new page on Technology awards and would be honored to know your feedback. I think it has reliable sources, although another opinion or two (or maybe more) will be very helpful. Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks.

Marie flwr (talk) 09:34, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Seems okay to me. An infobox of some sort might be a useful addition to your article though. Chevymontecarlo 15:49, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, Chevymontecarlo. I've found an existing infobox template (although I feel it may be not very appropriate. Still have to understand how templates are designed). Do you think the page is ready for the mainspace or there's anything else that should be done? Thanks again. Marie flwr (talk) 12:54, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I think it's nicely written. If it was tagged as a stub rather than a full article because of it's length then I think that would be okay. Chevymontecarlo 11:28, 5 February 2011 (UTC)

User:JacobjamesJJ/Twist_and_Pulse

JAYJAY 12:08, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

I think it's a good start but I think you might want to add an infobox of some sort and fix the citations; they're supposed to go actually in the article, rather than in the references section. See WP:Inline citations for more information, or you can contact me if you need any assistance. Good luck! Chevymontecarlo 15:51, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dharma_Man_Tuladhar

Help! I wrote an article and saved it and it went live instantly. I had meant to save it so that other editors could have a look at it. Could you please put it back in "edit mode". I don't want to get it deleted. Ever so grateful.

Karrattul (talk) 12:08, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

It seems like it was moved to the mainspace first by accident. I'll move it to User:Karrattul/Dharma Man Tuladhar. Hope that solves it. Chevymontecarlo 15:54, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Thank you very much.Karrattul (talk) 09:35, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

Glad to help! Chevymontecarlo 11:30, 5 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ooty_Lake

I created this article today. I would value feedbacks on this articles.

--Suraj T 12:17, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Nicely done but I think you need to work on adding more references from third-party sources - see WP:VRS. Chevymontecarlo 15:55, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Thanks a lot for your feed back. I'll follow up with the article. RGDS--Suraj T 05:39, 5 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_House,_Ooty

I have created this article today. I would value feedbacks.

--Suraj T 12:19, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Consider using the cite book template for your printed reference; other than that I think it's a nice stub, at least. Chevymontecarlo 15:57, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Thanks a lot for your feed back. I'll follow up with the article. RGDS--Suraj T 05:39, 5 February 2011 (UTC)

Hubble Bubble

This is my first article and I want to ensure I have given enough information in the correct format for it to be included in the Wiki

SteveINtheUKok (talk) 15:05, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Not sure you've done the whole references thing right; see WP:Inline citations or contact me if you need any help. Chevymontecarlo 16:01, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

That is a nice start, and there is also a scientific idea called Hubble Bubble that should probably get an article if it does not have one. Sharktopus^talk 03:39, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Dingren/SMARTProjectSpace

Review of content, structure, and layout please.

Dingren (talk) 15:05, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

I just reviewed your userspace draft. Your content looks very good, however I see one major issue. Your citations are few and far between, and to expand on that, I'm not really sure about your sources. Are they web? or print? It looks like you could use a template to construct the citations better, so here's a few helpful links for that: WP:CITE, WP:CITEX, WP:NAMEDREFS

As for the structure, I think it looks great. Although I don't believe that "Thomas Peutz" in the 'History' section needs to be bolded.

Your layout of the article also looks fine.

You're off to a great start, but please work on those sources. Just let me know if you help with that.--L1A1 FAL (talk) 03:24, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

Hubble_bubble

Added Hubble_Bubble to disambiguation page.

Unsure if I have done this correctly, may require editing.

SteveINtheUKok (talk) 15:21, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

I think this could really be mentioned at your Hubble bubble article instead, like at the top. Chevymontecarlo 16:02, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Avdi_Square

I've just finished creating this article and need someone to review it so the 'new unreviewed article' box at the top can be removed. Thanks!

KathyB111 (talk) 15:23, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

As you already know I've reviewed this in the past but I forgot to remove the tag; it's all right now though. Chevymontecarlo 16:03, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

User:7tjtv/Sarah Freeman (skier)

Its short but it is a good start, should open the door for other people to edit. Move it to the mainpage if you want (i am still trying to figure out how)

7tjtv (talk) 17:21, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

I just finished reviewing your draft. In my opinion, it isn't really ready to go live yet. It should have more information about Freeman's skiing career, perhaps how she got involved in skiing. Also where the text says "She has also competed at multiple FIS races" Maybe a few of those races (especially any she did well in), as I see they are in one of your sources. Another thing, is there a source for the "National Sport School" sentence? I didn't see any so I tagged it as unreferenced, but if you have a source to add for that, please do.

As for grammar/spelling/etc, that looks fine, as do your sources (although I do think you could use a few more).

Overall, I think this draft has potential, but I think it needs a lot more work first.--L1A1 FAL (talk) 03:08, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

Charity14:TheResponsiveClassroom

Are there any supplemental pieces of valuable research anyone else can include as an addendum?

Charity14 (talk) 17:33, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Tbaconcierge/Stephen_(Steve)_Holden&action=submit

70.176.124.124 (talk) 18:43, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Glenn Ciano please check out and review my page for my boss, I want to put more cool shizzle up there!

please check out and review my page for my boss, I want to put more cool shizzle up there!

96.253.48.20 (talk) 18:49, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

• Can you add something that tells us something unique, different, or interesting about him, such as specializing in a kind of film? Maybe something about his non-film background that would help him stand apart (establish notability)? Any awards? Does he / did he have an interesting occupation before / in addition to film? AlanDewey (talk) 16:42, 5 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Pnkennedy/717th Tank Battalion WWII I am having a awful time trying to figure how to publish my draft

What do I do next to find out if my draft is ok and to have my article show up in the wiki search. I do not want to continue working on this if I cannot get it published. Pnkennedy

Pnkennedy (talk) 19:44, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

In my opinion the biggest problem your draft has is that by including verbatim that long document it runs afoul of Wikipedia:No original research. Take a look and see what you think. On the other hand, the topic itself looks like it could be an OK article. How to remedy.

Can you find other references in books (seems like a distinct possibility) or on the web to verify the facts stated in the first paragraph?

Can you see if by some chance the report has been published somewhere? I don't suggest quoting it in its entirety as you have, but if you could outline the pertinent parts and then cite to a reference, that would be fine.

In summary, don't give up yet. Tkotc (talk) 04:57, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nacer_Khemir

Would love to get the "unreviewed" banner removed... Thanks in advance!

Zhuravlei (talk) 19:44, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Looks like you're off to a pretty good start there. The only concern I noticed was cited sources 1 & 8 (both were weekly.ahram.org.eg) seem to be dead links (at least they don't work for me), so you should try to double check the URL on those. Other than that, everything looks good!--L1A1 FAL (talk) 02:26, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Tkotc/Alexander Hewatt

Very brief biography of another (Early American/British) author from Project Gutenberg for whom Wikipedia is missing an article. Comments welcome.

Tkotc (talk) 21:28, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

Just checked over your draft. Looks like it's off to a good start. I made a few grammar changes to your draft, and added a citation to the time of death. Everything else seems to check out.--L1A1 FAL (talk) 02:50, 2 February 2011 (UTC)

Thanks kindly for looking at it. There's so little on the web about these early writers and my opportunities to go to a university research library are few and far between. Appreciate the edits! Tkotc (talk) 05:04, 2 February 2011 (UTC)