Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 June 14

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Classic book[edit]

This article is a complete re-write of an existing article. The re-written "Classic book" refers to what makes a book a classic in different expert's opinions. The only connection between the new article and the present (live) article is the title. The new version also does not bring back the problematic lists of "classic books" that apparently caused issues in the article's previous incarnations.

Here is the present 'live' Wikipedia article... Original: Classic book

Here is my complete re-write, on a testpage in my userspace... Rewrite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Shearonink/test

Shearonink (talk) 19:19, 13 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Pretty good, however I would recommend adding more things that will distinctify it from a dictionary entry or it may be dramatically rewritten or deleted per WP:DICDEF. A picture or infobox would be good, which I can help with if you want. Good job though. ~ QwerpQwertus ·_Contact Me_·_Talkback_· 00:58, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Added infobox with picture, tweaked the quotes for visuals, added TS Eliot as a commentator within the Literature section, plus other improvements. Article is now 'live' as Classic book. Shearonink (talk) 10:35, 17 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

...For comparison's sake, Previous version is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Classic_book&oldid=364595019 (UTC)Shearonink (talk) 11:01, 17 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hastings Musical Festival[edit]

Hastings Musical Festival Hastings Musical Festival Musicmaestro360 (talk) 20:28, 13 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You will probably need to add more reliable third-party sources and references which will prove the accuracy and notability of the article, some being made into inline citations. ~ QwerpQwertus ·_Contact Me_·_Talkback_· 01:03, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Robert N. Chatigny[edit]

Robert N. Chatigny

Is there a better way to address what I took to be bias in the original article about Federal Appeals Court Judge nominee Robert N. Chatigny?

To respond quickly, I did not alter the original, but added information after a heading "The preceding paragraphs require essential details:"

The original article appeared to me decidedly -- I might say, shockingly -- selective. I have never before Wiki-edited, but felt something needed to be done quickly since the reason I was looking for information was that I just received a very negative viral email about Judge Chatigny, whose nomination is being scheduled for a vote by the full Senate, and the Wiki reference is the first item on Google. Surprisingly, it took quite a bit of googling to find anything at all neutral or affirmative.

Thanks for your wisdom!

Net Researcher (talk) 03:23, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Both should be neutral. The original is only very very against him slightly-sounding, but this is mostly just because it is said so matter-of-factly, in my opinion, though your text would be helpful if you can just make it less supporting of him - it cannot support or be against him. But I encourage you to try to work on that it - the article does need some work. Thanks! ~ QwerpQwertus ·_Contact Me_·_Talkback_· 04:32, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scarless[edit]

Scarless

I am requesting feedback on a wikipedia article I have requested which is a song titled, Scarless by Australian singer, Paulini Curuenavuli. All information provided is true and is also linked to the singers article. Ozurbanmusic 04:52, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

Good job - I would just recommend possibly expanding it some more. ~ QwerpQwertus ·_Contact Me_·_Talkback_· 05:07, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent article. I agree with QwerQwertus - please try and expand the article if you can. Chevy monte carlo - alt 11:43, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scarlett Belle[edit]

Scarlett Belle

I am requesting feedback for an article I have created of a Australian pop duo called, Scarlett Belle. The information provied is all true. Ozurbanmusic 04:56, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

Well done. ~ QwerpQwertus ·_Contact Me_·_Talkback_· 05:11, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good job with the references and external links. Chevy monte carlo - alt 12:06, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good Day (Hayley Warner song)[edit]

Good Day (Hayley Warner song)

I am requesting for feedback on an article I created of a song by Australian singer, Hayley Warner titled, "Good Day". All information provided is true. Ozurbanmusic 05:14, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

Also well done. ~ QwerpQwertus ·_Contact Me_·_Talkback_· 05:20, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please try and add some more categories to the article at the bottom, this allows the article to be listed with similar articles and help to increase the amount of viewers to a page. I reccommend you maybe start searching at - ask if you're not sure about adding categories to an article. Apart from that it's an excellent article. Chevy monte carlo - alt 12:10, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tamara (Australian singer)[edit]

Tamara (Australian singer)

I am again also requesting feedback for another article I have created of Australian singer, Tamara. The reason I have created this article is because she does not have one at all but her information about her was stored in the Scandal'us article. I am also wanting to change her article name to Tamara Jaber instead of Tamara (Australian singer) but it won't let me because Tamara Jaber is linked to the Scandal'us article. Is there any way you can help me. Ozurbanmusic 05:27, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

Frangipani (file system)[edit]

User:Abrady0/Frangipani (file system)

I'm looking to get some feedback on an article on a distributed file system. Both style and content. I left out some parts of the source paper on adding and removing servers, and backup, for example. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Abrady0 (talk • contribs) 07:03, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I am afraid that I do not have the knowledge to comment on your article but you are obviously having trouble getting it reviewed. I would advise that you look at other 'computery' articles, go into the edit history, identify the contributers, then ask for feedback on their talk pages. I have not removed the no feedback tag because I do not consider this feedback.--Ykraps (talk) 07:35, 16 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. I am sorry your article has not been reviewed yet. I am new to wikipedia editing myself so I am not qualified to provide a review. However, I do have a little knowledge of the subject area so may be able to give some pointers.

It is a good factual start. It is not glaring copyvio.
The article lead is too short and is not interesting. See WP:Lead. See lead on Samba as an example. Yes I know it is not a DFS but the lead is interesting.
My impression is the article does not take a neutral stance. See NPOV. It talks specifically about Fragipani without any comparison with other similar approaches. See for example Distributed File System for a small list
The article has only two references. Compare yours with this smaller article which cites 10 references.
The first three sections are lists. This is hard to read. I accept the subject matter may be hard to write in a prose style. I feel prose would be better here.
One or two diagrams would enhance the article

I hope the above is of help. --Senra (talk) 20:44, 16 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tamara Jaber[edit]

Tamara Jaber

I am requesting for feedback on an article I created of an Australian singer, Tamara Jaber. I assure you that all information provided is true. Ozurbanmusic 09:51, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

Good article. Plenty of references, infobox is nice, links as well...try and add some references for the opening paragraph though if you can - see WP:CITE for more information. I will remove the unreviewed tag for you :) Chevy monte carlo 15:09, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Paulini Curuenavuli[edit]

Paulini Curuenavuli

I would like to request a name change in this article. I am requesting that this article's name be changed to Paulini because the public knows her as Paulini not as Paulini Curuenavuli. This will also make it easy for people to know that this is an article about Paulini or else people will get the wrong idea that is about a different Paulini. Ozurbanmusic 09:59, 14 June 2010 (UTC)

Genarally, it is best to name articles about people with the first and last name, but you can, if there is not already an existing article, refirect Paulini to the current article. ~ QwerpQwertus ·_Contact Me_·_Talkback_· 20:48, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, the details are definately there. Well done with that. I don't think there's much wrong with it apart from the obvious lack of picture in the infobox at the top and the naming issue that QwerpQwertus talked about. Chevy monte carlo 13:15, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

NBA Nation (tour)[edit]

I am seeking further assistance in improving the NBA Nation (tour). This is my first article!

NBA Nation (tour) is the current touring festival from the National Basketball Association. I have been collecting more information on the history of the Tour as well, but it is not as well doccumented as the current one. I will add it as I can. The article is complete for this year's touring schedule, however.

Maionaize (talk) 13:32, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The whole thing reads like an advertisement. Giving the tour dates and the names of the sponsors has no other purpose. You might be better writing the article after the tour when you will be able to tell us what happened, how successful it was (how may attended), any highlights etc. You might want to look at other Wikipedia articles on festivals, concerts and events to see how they are written and what sort of stuff is included.--Ykraps (talk) 07:27, 16 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Try not to leave bare references links in the article - it's better if they have a more useful name rather than just a web address. For example [[http://www.apple.com Apple official site]]. The names give more useful and detailed information about what the link to the site is about. I hope you understand. If you have any questions about this please leave me a message at my talk page and I will do my best to get back to you. Thanks! Chevy monte carlo 13:12, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Dallas Children's Theater[edit]

I have recently made major edits to the Dallas Children's Theater wiki page and would like someone to look over it for me. This is my first time publishing a wiki article and would love some input! Thanks!

Dallaschildren'stheater (talk) 15:05, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It needs to be more neutral in tone. Things such as 'unparalleled leadership and vision' are subjective and therefore cannot be used. You appear to have an 'interest' in the subject and therefore you may not be the best person to write the article. It could do with more citations and if you can link anything to an existing Wiki article that would be good too. It sounds like a worthwhile thing you are doing and I wish you luck with it.--Ykraps (talk) 18:25, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

P.S. The history section does not seem to contain much history. You have used the word 'is' a lot which seems to suggest you are talking about the present. You could add the production history to this section and any milestones you reached in terms of ticket sales, production costs etc. Also how the idea came about, who the innovators were and what they were doing before.--Ykraps (talk) 18:36, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have a few tips for you about adding links. To add links to the article, place [[ ]] around the word you want to link to. For example, [[Loughborough]] would create a link that would lead to the Loughborough article. Also more citated references need to be added if possible - see WP:CITE for more information on this. Hope this helps! If you have any more questions/queries/thoughts, please leave me a message on my talk page and I will try and get back to you. Thanks! Chevy monte carlo 13:09, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

International Doodle Owners Group...[edit]

Requesting that this be posted as an article. I do not meet the requirement to post because I have not edited 10 times. This article is not controversial.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:IDOGDirector/Enter_your_new_article_name_here —Preceding unsigned comment added by IDOGDirector (talk • contribs) 18:15, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You have managed to maintain a neutral tone which must have been a challenge! :) You need to explain what a Labradoodle/Goldendoodle is (although I could probably guess). Some pictures would be good. Also for the benefit of us foreigners, you need to explain what a 501(c)(3) group is as it may differ to our idea of a 'not for profit' oranisation. Or you may be able to link with existing articles that explain it. Otherwise good job!--Ykraps (talk) 19:03, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank You! I have added a brief description about what they are. I have also added links to explain 501(c)(3) as well as what a Not for Profit is. I am going to work on adding photos as soon as I figure out how to do that. Again, thank you. —Preceding unsigned comment added by IDOGDirector (talk • contribs) 19:17, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You were mentioning posting pictures. When you write your next article, if you need help posting pictures, you can always ask for help on the IRC/'help-channel': http://webchat.freenode.net/?channels=wikipedia-en-help. The WIkipedia Cheatsheet is full of useful tidbits: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Cheatsheet. And the Picture tutorial is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Picture_tutorial. Shearonink (talk) 21:25, 17 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The IRC help channel is an excellent place to get help, although you can also place {{helpme}} on your talk page followed by your question/query to get help, and you can always ask at the WP:HD. I think the IRC channel is the best though, as you can talk to experienced editors live and in real time. Chevy monte carlo 13:06, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

James C. Gaffney[edit]

James C. GaffneyMyBigRed (talk) 18:51, 14 June 2010 (UTC)Pattie Benedix 6/14/2010[reply]

I'm sorry, I cannot find the article. Can you insert a link?--Ykraps (talk) 19:06, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This one? User:MyBigRed/James_C._Gaffney Captain n00dle \^Talk 19:31, 14 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

p.s. Ykraps, look on a user's contributions ^_^ Hope that helps for future reference

It needs a bit of work but could be an interesting article. Firstly don't indent as it causes problems (see how I have set it out). You need to decide whether the article is about the horse or the jockey and if necessary write an article for each. It needs more references and the citations need to be inline. There is lots of subjective stuff such as 'Lucien liked the way Jim worked'. How do you know that? If this a quote, it needs to be referenced properly. Things such as 'The Triple Crown' need to be explained or linked to other articles and remember that there is a Triple Crown in other countries too (in England there is a Rugby accolade called The Triple Crown). I will try to take another look when I have more time but hope this helps in the meantime.--Ykraps (talk) 07:29, 15 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think you should try adding categories and references to the article if you can. Please see WP:CITE and WP:Categories for more information. Chevy monte carlo 13:04, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]