Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 21:25, 13 May 2008.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess[edit]

previous FAC

OK, yet another Zelda FAC... a current GA, this article is well-written, referenced and illustrated, since the failed FA candidacy last year has improved very much, and unlike the recent failures, is comprehensive and detailed in all sections. igordebraga ≠ 16:04, 20 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Co-nom User:Igordebraga has let me add myself as a co-nom :) Cheers! Gary King (talk) 00:38, 24 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from David Fuchs (talk · contribs)
  • Ouch, that hurt... I wouldn't call any FAC a "failure"... but anyway, some opening comments:
    • "Twilight met with both commercial and critical success." - eh, could you expand that and state what reviewers liked/didn't about the game?
    • "it was delayed by Nintendo so that the EAD staff could add more content and refine the game." since it's a new paragraph, replace "it" with Twilight Princess and specify who EAD is- I can figure out its the people you were talking about in the first paragraph, but suddenly using the abbreviation is bad.

I'll have more to say later, but for now, I got real-life fish to fry. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 21:18, 20 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Sorry if my words were bad (specially because the second one was your work... and was very close to passing, unlike the first one). But anyway, fixed both suggestions, and I'm open to anything you say, Fuchs. igordebraga ≠ 22:06, 20 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • No problem, my man. Anyway, some more stuff:
    • The whole first paragraph of gameplay is horrible for anyone who has never picked up a Zelda game: "Twilight Princess features a stylized, naturalistic art style (similar to, but far more advanced than that found in Ocarina of Time), rather than the cel-shaded look that The Wind Waker exhibited — although it still makes use of cel-shading effects, as it uses a very heavily modified version of The Wind Waker’s engine.[1] In a further departure from The Wind Waker, Link is once again a young man, as opposed to a child, as in the latter part of Ocarina of Time and in The Adventure of Link. The game also has a darker tone, similar to Majora's Mask.[10]" - if you're going to talk about these other games, do so in relation to what they *are*, ex. more advanced than previous game OoT" or something similar.) Really, it shouldn't start out like this at all: is it a third person shooter? Who knows, because that info isn't there.
    • Continuing with gameplay: "The singular exception to this is Midna" exception to what? "Returning from Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, a horse can again be ridden in Twilight Princess." bad sentence structure, et al. Really, the gameplay needs to be reorganized so it flows better and addresses key issues.
    • Abilities section; seems to belong with statements in gameplay, another reason it needs to be reorganized.
    • Plot: perhaps there should be a setting/characters component to the synopsis so people are familiarized with the game and its world?
      • The other Legend of Zelda FAs don't have these, so that's the route this article took, also. Gary King (talk) 19:12, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "British publication NGC Magazine claimed, in December 2005, that when the GameCube version is played on Wii, the player will be given the option of using the Wii's unique controller;[33] and it was not suspected that two versions of the game would be released." Lots of, commas here, make, it hard to read.
      • Fixed. ("just funny" note: in a previous FAC of mine, someone used the same reasoning saying Eats, Shoots & Leaves instead)
    • "Some reviews have mentioned drawbacks about the game, however. The most commonly mentioned is that the game, having been designed for the GameCube, is not up to scratch with the cutting-edge graphics of its competitors. Some aspects of the game's design have been more firmly criticized by a number of reviewers. " Doesn't sound like good prose, and is unreferenced. Don't deal with generalities, or source them.

More later, Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 17:03, 21 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Begun the first and second, will try my best to fix (even if I haven't played it yet, have a GameCube but could only afford Wind Waker). igordebraga ≠ 02:04, 22 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Reworked Gameplay (thus first, second and third potentially done). igordebraga ≠ 17:28, 26 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments (2) from David Fuchs (talk · contribs)
It's still nebulous for someone who hasn't played the game.
  • Comments
    • "Along with new weapons, Link can get two shields, one made of wood and other of metal, and three suits, the regular green garb, a Zora Armor which allows him to breathe underwater, and the Magic Armor which gives invincibility while draining his money. Unlike previous games, magic arrows are not available..." Why would someone who has never played the game know what magic arrows are, or care?
    • "Twilight Princess retains the basic gameplay from the 3D Zelda games, with basic actions such as walking, running, attacking, defending, and automatic jumping at ledges."- can you talk about what kind of a game TP is before we launch into how it is similar?
    • "The protagonist Link also uses the control system introduced in Ocarina of Time that allows him to "lock-on" to an enemy or other target." Suddenly jumps into minutiae of gameplay, once again is not helping a novice reader understand the game.
    • "Link battles enemies, collects items, and solves puzzles to progress through a dungeon, fighting a boss at the end. " this is better, but it's entirely understated. How does the story progress? How do players advance through stages? What people and items aid Link in his quest? What new gameplay features were added? The section seems looped in on itself and not following a most-important -> detail scheme which makes it confusing to read.
    • "Link is a young adult similar to the one from latter part of Ocarina of Time, unlike the child hero from the previous game, and as opposed to the cartoon-looking cel-shaded of its predecessor, Twilight Princess features a stylized, naturalistic art style, similar to, but far more advanced than that found in Ocarina of Time." awkward sentence, break up into two. Perhaps you should explain why it doesn't follow The Wind Waker look, and how that was a radical departure from previous games? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 17:37, 26 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • More gameplay work, and put why it doesn't follow in Development. What I missed, and anything else? igordebraga ≠ 05:06, 28 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)
Issues resolved, Ealdgyth - Talk 14:42, 28 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
All other links worked. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:53, 20 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]


  • Comment The pictures "sandwiching" text with the infobox is problematic and will need to be addressed. Perhaps shrink the infobox picture some, remove the imput devices and media, and that will give you more room for pictures. Ottava Rima (talk) 03:37, 22 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • I've moved one of the images down. It should be better now. Gary King (talk) 00:58, 24 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment Fix that reception section box, and I'll give a more elaborate comment. (The awards section is completely irrelevant. Just leave the Game of the Year awards at the bottom of a normal VG Reviews template box. --haha169 (talk) 21:01, 23 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright. Separate those awards with a new section...I believe there is one, but I forgot the code. And keep only the MOST relevant game of the year awards...since those are awkwardly long. (Gamespot and X-Play game of year. That's it). The rest of the article seems nice. Cut down a bit on the plot if possible, and remove one of those 3 images in the gameplay section. (Or relocate it) --haha169 (talk) 22:47, 23 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'm using the Awards feature of {{VG Reviews}} for the awards, and have stripped it down to only a few. Gary King (talk) 23:58, 23 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Looks like my comments have been addressed. I Support, as soon as I see the plot section cut down a bit more. --haha169 (talk) 19:51, 24 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

This page is showing me a grand total of FIVE dead links in the article. You should try and fix that immediately. --haha169 (talk) 21:39, 24 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All fixed Gary King (talk) 22:29, 24 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm Supporting this article now. It have improved vastly since the day I first wrote a complaint about the images on the talk page. In fact, I was ignored! FAC does wonders to articles...--haha169 (talk) 02:25, 28 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Why are you supporting twice? igordebraga ≠ 05:06, 28 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • Haha, it would be helpful if you would keep your commentary together (I've moved this) and Support only once. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 12:53, 28 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • I'll keep that in mind. I honestly don't remember supporting before, unless I changed my mind and forgot to mention it here. I changed my mind after I noticed the image clutter, then decided to support once that happened and the fact that the article vastly improved. Sorry about the misunderstanding. I forgot to leave a note. --haha169 (talk) 23:25, 28 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Conditional Support - Got some things to fix;
  • Fair use rationales are extremely vague; they need to say exactly what they demonstrate and why it significantly contributes to the article.
  • None of the images really demonstrate the art direction which was so highly praised, perhaps replace one of the gameplay images, which seem somewhat redundant, with one showing the art style. A shot from the Twilight realm might work.
    • Not sure what shot you are looking for. Anyways, I don't have my Wii with me right now... Gary King (talk) 19:25, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
      • Added a new image to Development highlighting artistic style in the Twilight Realm, since one image was removed from Gameplay. Gary King (talk) 18:30, 1 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • There is no reference in the box for EGM's Game Informers game of the year.
  • Just noticed, a bunch of citations are unformatted and are just bare internet links.
    • They were just added by some anonymous users. They are done. Gary King (talk) 02:21, 27 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Those are the only issues I see. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 20:13, 26 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All resolved, though I still think that there should be a picture showing the much praised art direction. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 19:40, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ahh, a picture showing the art direction, hurray! Judgesurreal777 (talk) 03:17, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reliable sources need to be resolved, not per a WikiProject, not per a Wiki article: per WP:V. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 12:54, 28 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Dihydrogen Monoxide (talk · contribs)
  • "and Nintendo GameCube video game consoles." - just "gamecube" will do fine...
    I think it should be kept. Doesn't detract from the statement and helps clarify that both the Wii and GameCube are video game consoles. Gary King (talk) 00:21, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Nintendo so that the" - rmv that
  • "The Wii version was released on the dates of the Wii launch, in November and December of 2006." - what was the actual date? It can't be both months...
  • "Twilight met with both" - use its full name (as in, TP)
  • "review websites such as IGN, EGM, 1UP.com, and Game Informer " - check italics...IGN, for instance, shouldn't...nor should 1UP, not sure about rest
  • "he basic gameplay from the 3D Zelda games is retained, with basic" - basic...basic...reword
  • "there is a 'lock-on' mechanism" - on what? Clarify that it's on the hook
    Lock-on is for any weapon in the game; it is not dependent on what weapon you are using. Gary King (talk) 00:47, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the set name of the horse from Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask" - both have been wlinked already
  • "Along with new weapons..." - split shields and suits into separate sentences, for flow
  • "will come through the television like other sounds instead" - the stuff after television probably isn't necessary...at least, rmv instead
  • "a control scheme mostly identical" woah....
  • "The AI can also detect the player from a much larger distance than in Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, or The Wind Waker." - needs source
  • Ref 24: Wired needs italics
  • In Music section, just use surnames for people after first mention
  • "then-untitled Zelda game was shown." - italics needed
  • Work on short paragraphs in Development section
  • "and the award of Best..." - refs needed here
  • "one for GCN" - GCN - GameCube. ALso ref needed here
  • 1st para of Wii version section has qoutes needing refs
  • "[43]--->" - typo?
  • "a web site that compiles game reviews and averages reviewers' scores" - not needed; wlink is there. Same for Metacritic
  • "month by Game Informer in the January 2007 issue." - needs italics and ref

dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 09:07, 29 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All of the above are done. Gary King (talk) 01:31, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I am withholding my support until the stability issue noted by Coanda-1910 is resolved—a note on my talk page when that's done will get my support (or, if I forget, consider this a support if the oppose below is struck...thanks Sandy! :). dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 09:01, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Coanda-1910 (talk · contribs)
  • Weak Oppose: There's a current discussion on the article thread about the last sentence of the opener - the one about some reviewers calling it the "greatest Zelda game ever." I have an opinion on the topic, laid out in the talk page, but that's not really what this objection is about. I simply think that the opening section of the article probably ought to be stable before it gets FA status. If consensus is reached on the topic (either way), I'll withdraw my opposition. Coanda-1910 (talk) 05:37, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    It's not really unstable as it hasn't been touched in a few days. The page just agreed with the user but a few users helped pitch in to make the statement less POV and more accurate. Gary King (talk) 11:14, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Stability issues would be that major facts about the article are changing, massive vandalism or edit wars; wording issues do not equal article stability problems. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 20:29, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
If there was anything to oppose about this article, it would probably be the 3 images clogging the gameplay section. One of the first two could be removed in the future if consensus is reached, but it isn't that big of an issue. Stability definitely isn't a problem. --haha169 (talk) 21:59, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fair enough. I still am not exactly thrilled about the way it reads and I did see an ongoing discussion of the wording, but I can see either side and don't have a major issue with it as is; I also agree that it's not a huge part of the article. Withdrawing objection. Coanda-1910 (talk) 01:15, 1 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment: "Midna bids Link and Zelda farewell, and then shatters the twilight mirror with one of her tears. After Midna enters the portal, the Mirror shatters" in the final Plot paragraph sound redundant. Also the first two gameplay screneshots, the first one could be removed completely and the second put in its place to make that area seem less cluttered. Also the second screenshot could be cropped of its black bars to match the rest of the screenshots. --AeronPrometheus (talk) 00:42, 1 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    Reworded. "After Midna" is used, though, because both Link and Zelda are mentioned in the previous sentence (and Zelda is female, so 'She' would be ambiguous). Moved image, and cropped. Gary King (talk) 01:12, 1 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - Great job, the article looks wonderful, and it satisfies the criteria. Hello32020 (talk) 01:25, 2 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose. The writing is only just reasonable (much improved in this area from a while ago, but it needs to be polished, especially after the top—a quick run through by a copy-editor). Just at random (suggesting there's lots more) ...
    • "Link can get different armor"—but stubby, and "get" is ungainly here. Then "which ... which".
    • ice, fire and Light: one cap?
  • More commas wouldn't go astray (less objective, though). Especially in longish sentences.
    • "Wolf Link has also an improved sense of smell, which allows him to follow trails left by certain characters in the game (or obtaining scents of other things to guide him, such as medicine or fish), and is also the only way players are able to see wandering spirits and hunt for the Poes—which can neither be seen (except for the lanterns they carry) nor attacked without the ability"—If "also" really is necessary (often it's not), it's in the wrong position. "to obtain", surely, to match the previous grammar; then a totally redundant "also". Weed them out. This sentence is a long snake.
  • "The game's score was composed by"—Which word is redundant? And "the game's title screen".
  • "Kondo originally stated that he "would really like to push for" the music being performed by an orchestra, as he considers live instruments much more deep and expressive than the ones used in digital music." Ungrammatical; why not "for an acoustic orchestral performance" (and I think you need to distinguish it from a synthesised orchestral sound.
  • "The game falls chronologically over a century after Ocarina of Time"—No, use "more than" or we think it's over = during the course of. Boring to have to disambiguate in reverse.

Now these are taken throughout at random. It's within reach, but not promotable yet. Please let me know when someone fresh has worked on it. Tony (talk) 16:52, 3 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Issues resolved, Black Kite 17:19, 3 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose due to use of fair-use imagesIssues now addressed.
  • Image:Zelda - Twilight Princess - stab.jpg - the caption says that the image shows the character using "L-targeting" yet this is not explained anywhere in the text, thus the image fails WP:NFCC#8.
    • a 'lock-on' mechanism that allows circle strafing while staying aimed on the enemy - it is there
      • Yes, but the text doesn't actually use the phrase "L-targeting" so the casual reader has no idea that L-targeting means the above. Also, does the image actually increase the reader's understanding of this system?
        • Improved caption. Also, the image does help understanding; an arrow is shown above the enemy; this is only shown when lock-on is used. Gary King (talk) 18:01, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
          • It would probably be best if you mentioned why the arrow is there, in that case. That would probably be OK then.


  • Image:Zeldatp-screens (120).jpg claims to show the "sense ability" of the wolf form, but again the contents of the image are not explicitly discussed anywhere, leading it to fail the same part of the policy.
    • Wolf Link has also an improved sense of smell, which allows him - it is there
      • How does the image show us that the wolf has an improved sense of smell? It doesn't, as far as I can see.
        • I've updated the caption. Should be clearer now. Gary King (talk) 18:01, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
          • Ah, now I understand (and a casual reader would too). This is probably OK now.


  • Image:Zeldatp-screens (517).jpg just fails WP:NFCC full stop - it doesn't add anything to the article at all. What the two characters look like is covered in their own articles.
    • Changed location and caption.
      • This is still a decorative image, and still fails NFCC#8. "Non-free content is used only if its presence would significantly increase readers' understanding of the topic, and its omission would be detrimental to that understanding." I don't see how it does this. Black Kite 16:43, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • This image is borderline decorative, I agree, but it's the only one that shows Midna. I've updated the caption to focus on Midna and to explicitly say that this is her, what she is, etc. Gary King (talk) 18:01, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
          • Unfortunately, there is already a non-free image of her in her own article, which is linked, so if the only purpose of the image is to demonstrate what she looks like, this is still decorative, I'm afraid.
Fair enough. Removed. Gary King (talk) 19:02, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Black Kite 17:19, 3 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The items above have been addressed. Gary King (talk) 19:02, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 3: I was the reviewer who asked Black Kite to take a look at the copyright implications, so that I (and perhaps others) have an opportunity of learning how this critical aspect of WP's mission should be reviewed. Thank you, Black Kite. Tony (talk) 13:09, 5 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Laser brain (talk · contribs)
  • Oppose, 1a. Very good start, but the prose is not up to standard yet. Suggest a general copyedit by an experienced and uninvolved editor. The gameplay and plot sections stray into "game guide" territory and away from our general audience.
    • The lengthy translation of the title is extremely visually distracting. What is the purpose? This is en.wiki. If someone wants to see the title in Japanese they can click the interwiki link, yes?
    • There are too many sentences in the lead that begin with either the game title or "The game..."
    • "This makes Twilight Princess the first Zelda game to debut at the launch of a Nintendo console." Avoid beginning sentences with the word "This" referring to a previous idea. Restate the idea.
    • Ditto: "This is triggered with the Z button for the Wii and the L button for the GameCube."
    • Ditto: "This is not a completely separate place like the Dark World in A Link to the Past..."
    • Need someone to check comma usage throughout.
    • Check single-quote use where double-quotes are proper.
    • "Players start with a wooden shield that can be replaced with a metal one which withstands magical attacks." Surely the character gets the shield, not the player. I mean, that would be pretty cool, but check use of the terms player and character throughout. They are not interchangable.
    • "To operate the game, the Wii version uses the Wii Remote..." The player uses the remote, not the "Wii version".
    • Check for passive voice that eliminates or obscures the subjects. --Laser brain (talk) 17:36, 5 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've fixed the above issues; I'll do another run through the article to check it again. Gary King (talk) 17:51, 5 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Could you take a second look at the article? I think we resolved these issues now. Gary King (talk) 18:40, 8 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Gary, I think further work is needed, although I have tremendous respect for the work you have done thus far. I think this would benefit from an "uninvolved" copyedit which is means you grab an editor who hasn't seen the text. I recommended getting a non-video game person because this still reads too much like a game guide in places. I've had the experience of looking at my own article until I'm goo-goo and I know it's hard to disengage and ask for an external copyedit.. but it needs it. --Laser brain (talk) 18:44, 8 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've asked around already; I'm awaiting responses. All the copyedits I know are up to their necks in copyediting requests, and I can't blame them for passing this one up. Why does everyone have to discriminate against video game articles so much :p Gary King (talk) 18:51, 8 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I managed to somehow get Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare to FA status a few days ago, so I don't see why I can't get this one there, also. C'mon, pull it together Gary! Alright, I just got to refresh my mental state first before doing a thorough copyediting of this article; I love Zelda, but I've read this article so many times that I sometimes feel like I live in the Zelda universe. Gary King (talk) 19:02, 8 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I have asked User:Laser brain to take a second look at the article after making some major changes to it. Gary King (talk) 00:56, 9 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I sincerely hate to say it but much more work still needed. I think you desperately need a fresh pair of eyes on this. I don't have to go far into the Gameplay section before the writing is more Nintendo Power than Wikipedia. Attention needed to grammar, and sentences like "There are also three suits: the standard green garb, a Zora Armor which allows Link to breathe underwater, and a Magic Armor which provides invincibility while draining his money." --Laser brain (talk) 05:19, 9 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I have made another significant change to the Gameplay section. Let me know if it has improved. Gary King (talk) 22:31, 12 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from BuddingJournalist (talk · contribs)
  • Oppose 1a. Examples:
    • "with the help of a mysterious creature named Midna" Ambiguous "with". ("prevent...with the help of" or "engulfing Hyrule with the help of"?)
    • "In addition, review websites " "In addition" does not work here as the previous sentence is unrelated.
    • "The basic gameplay from the 3D Zelda games" This assumes readers are familiar with the gameplay of these "3D" Zelda games.
      • It is explained in the next sentence.
    • "The game features several dungeons, which are large, enclosed, and often underground areas where" Ungainly "often...where" construct.
    • "To complete a dungeon, Link primarily uses" Presumably he uses these to fight enemies, not to "complete" a dungeon. Or maybe I'm just not getting the nebulous definition of "complete" here.
    • "warp points" Explain/link for the uninitiated please.
    • "the set name of the horse" What is a "set" name?
    • "Along with the new weapons, different armor is available for Link" What? Where is the mention of "the new weapons" beforehand? We just have a description of weapons. What's new? What does "different" mean in this context? Different meaning from previous games? Or different as in players can choose different pieces of armor as they see fit?
    • "the former is used by Zelda" link please.
    • "To operate the game, the Wii version" misplaced modifier
    • "He transforms into a wolf he enters the Twilight Realm" huh?
    • In general, the article relies far too heavily on the passive. BuddingJournalist 17:57, 5 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed all - but the passive, that will take more time... igordebraga ≠ 03:08, 6 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Could you take a second look at the article? I think we resolved these issues now. Gary King (talk) 18:40, 8 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I'm still an oppose here per Laser brain. The writing does not sparkle and the article seems to assume readers are familiar with the series/game, which is a big no-no. Some examples I've found while skimming the article:
  • "The story focuses on Link, who tries to prevent the Twilight Realm from engulfing Hyrule." And the Twilight Realm is what? An organization? This is in the lead, no less.
  • "exists that allows circle strafing while staying aimed on the enemy, which is triggered" Awkward placement of "which"
  • "Twilight Princess only offers regular arrows" This is contradicted by the next clause and sentence.
  • "Twilight Realm, a void which corrupted parts of Hyrule"
  • "When Link is in wolf form...When in wolf form, Link"
  • "and hunt for Poes, which can neither be" And Poes are?
  • "The built-in speaker on the remote is used for sounds " Is used for? The reader wonders by whom. Try "emits" or something similar.
  • "The enemy's AI in" Abbreviations should be spelled out on first use. This particular use of "AI" is colloquial and is pretty much only used in video game parlance. I would not consider it standard for an encyclopedia.
  • "Enemies react to a defeated enemy" Huh?
  • "There is no extensive voice acting in the game" Jarring jump of topic in the middle of a paragraph. BuddingJournalist 08:48, 10 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've made another major copyedit of the Gameplay section, so please let me know if it has improved. Gary King (talk) 22:31, 12 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Still far too easy to spot errors. Few examples:
  • "To make combat easier, a "lock-on" mechanism exists allowing..." Long, awkward sentence. Begin by changing "mechanism exists allowing" -> "mechanism allows" and go from there.
  • "help him jump further"
  • "with a stylized, naturalistic art style" ambiguous modifier.
  • "a very heavily" We can do better than "very". The "however" in the sentence makes little sense.
  • "and the Nunchuk's motion sensors and pointers in conjunction with the buttons." No idea what is trying to be said here. Link for Nunchuk?
  • "By comparison, the GameCube version uses a control scheme similar to The Wind Waker" That'd be a fine comparison if only all readers are familiar with how to play The Wind Waker.
  • "A major difference between the control schemes" Which control schemes? The Wind Waker and the GameCube version of Twilight Princess, as the previous sentence suggests? Or the Wii and GameCube version?
  • "is that Link is able to equip only two items because the Z button is used to call Midna if the player is in need of help" And this is referring to which control scheme?
  • "before he wakes and" Wakes -> either "wakes up" or "awakens".
  • "if he will help her" help her do what? BuddingJournalist 12:37, 13 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Japanese characters—Laser brain is perfectly justified in raising the issue of just why the bizarre practice of stamping out non-Roman characters is slavishly repeated in this article (there's even a romanised equivalent of the Japanese-language title, which doesn't help either). The fact that it has been occurring unchecked in other video-game articles provides more reason to question the practice, since the openings of so many of our vid articles are damaged by what is meaningless clutter to all but a tiny, privileged minority of English-speakers. The place for Japanese characters is in the Japanese WP, like ... HERE.

See my objection to this regrettable practice at the WikiProject: Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Video games/Article guidelines#Japanese characters are totally inappropriate. I suggest that the nominator make the first strike against the clutter by removing it (and probably the romanised Japanese-language equivalent, too); that would enable the text to engage our readers at the very start, rather than distract them and interrupt their concentration. Tony (talk) 16:06, 6 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I always enjoy being part of a revolution. Where do I sign up? Oh, right... removed! Kazaam. I should also point out that this article is in no way a representation of support or opposition to this guideline put forward by this WikiProject. Please don't sue me. Gary King (talk) 16:12, 6 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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