Talk:Culture of Camden, New Jersey

Title

Where specifically in the article is this going to go? It would probably go good in either the demographic section or the culture section. It would work in the culture section because there are already two subsections for Black and Hispanic/ Latino Culture. But then the part where you talked about the population might fit better into the demographic section because of how there in already a census section. Chw2022 (talk) 18:49, 8 April 2024 (UTC)

Personally, I think that you used a lot of evidence which I think is good. Some of the facts you posted are kind of alarming but if they are to be true can be very useful information, I also like the way you structured your paragraphs — Preceding unsigned comment added by RutgersMark (talk • contribs) 19:09, 10 April 2024 (UTC)

Grammar

These sentences are well written and give a good amount of information.

The only real complaint I have is that this reads more like a very well written essay than it does as an encyclopedic entry. Harleiquill (talk) 17:54, 17 April 2024 (UTC)

Structure

This article would benefit from some headlines and other structuring methods. As it stands (and I mentioned under Grammar) it looks and reads like a very well written essay. There may be a need to shorten the writing and make the statements more focused to reduce the reading burden without sacrificing the content.

Use of bold headings would be nice to separate the topics clearly.

Harleiquill (talk) 17:56, 17 April 2024 (UTC)

Walt Whitman

The poem by Walt Whitman is titled: I Dream'd in a Dream

You've typed this incorrectly in your paragraph about it. Harleiquill (talk) 17:57, 17 April 2024 (UTC)

Rewrite

Art has brought a sense of community through it.

- This sentence is confusing. Do you mean that art has brought a sense of community through art? I would suggest a rewrite here along the lines of "Art has created a sense of community." Or, just leave it out altogether. It is a great lead sentence, but without a citation to support the statement, it may lack notability. Harleiquill (talk) 17:59, 17 April 2024 (UTC)